I just wrote into my planner to remember to make a writer/poet cover letter and resume-different from my general, boring, a-political resumes and cover letters and from my highly political, almost biting resumes and cover letters.

All these different people I gotta be so people will hire me/see me. Put my best foot forward, show my best face. I can’t keep track. Inevitably, however, all the versions bleed into one and you’re just left with this manic, teething, troubled, sharp-eyed mess. It’s alright, I only have to fool them for the interview and the first few weeks.

When applying to be with the person you desire, what do you put on your resume? That you like vinyl, that you’re a “pop culture nerd”, that craft beer is tasty? What manicured side or parts of yourself will you show? Is that person you create faithful and real or not? How long, if ever, until you (d)evolve into your truest, barest, most animal self, far from what was advertised when you really just wanted to get into the make-out phase of the relationship? How terrifying is that woman, how beautiful, inimitable? How much do you actually like her and think her deserving of love?

I always try to remember that despite how hard reality can be to handle, unhirable or unattractive to some, distortions can only get you so much work and even less love.