Fuck You, I’m A Feminist Man, Now Fuck Me!

This is an old poem I wrote almost three years ago and posted on Tumblr about “male feminists”. Unfortunately many feminists, womanists, and other activists have been preyed upon by “male feminists” of the kind I describe in my poem. I wrote it at a time when I myself was getting targeted by an abusive ex-friend’s creepy white “male feminist” ex-boyfriend. We both kind of ended things with this person in the same year. He thought we could bond on hating our mutual ex together (though I knew they broke up because he abused of the boundaries of their open relationship and cheated, not just because my ex-friend was an abusive and difficult person). He sleazed on pictures of me on my blog describing sexual things he would do to me, would text me a lot and would try to always get me to ask for rides because I am carless, just a bunch of very adamant but lowkey/below the radar shit that made me uncomfortable. If I was friendly, he took that as interest, and if I was unresponsive, he took that as not appreciating his friendship. He seemed to specifically like me as an at the time very vulnerable person who ended a really toxic friendship with a best friend in a way that was super disturbing. The situation was yet another instance where an alleged “ally” or “male feminist” uses social justice language, community connections, friendship, kindess and bullshit farces just to get laid. I later found out he was hitting on a bunch of other QWOC/QPOC folks in my circle as well because of course, we compared notes. To say the least, it made me even more angry, cynical and tired than I already was of male leftist/social justice types, especially white ones, than I already was.

Content warning: Poem has graphic talk of misogynist sexual abuse, manipulation and harassment

I am entitled

to your body

your life

your mind

your thoughts

your consent

because you’re a free

independent

and powerful

woman

and that’s

fucking hot

to me.

Your survival

gets me off

and your identity

looks like it wants my dick.

You know what words

are upstanding

that both start with P?

Your Praxis and My Prick.

Your desires

and wishes

are of no consequence

or care

to me

unless they are a ‘yes’

and ‘harder’

and ‘more’

then you’re so feminist

and I support you in that.

I want to fucking tie you up

and make you my slut

now call me daddy, bitch.

Hey, don’t worry

it’s just my kink!

Trust me, try it

you’ll like it,

it feels great!

The only thing

I need analyze and to unpack

is your body in those clothes.

Hey,

you wanna fuck?

C’mon

C’mon

C’mon

C’mon

C’mon

Please

Please

Please

Please??????

See, you agreed to it!

I know how to respect my partner’s wishes.

That’s all the people

you’ve slept with?

I thought you were sex positive,

that seems like a small number?

You’ve been with

THAT many people?

You’re letting them objectify and use you,

you’ve got some reflection to do.

Hey, I’ve got a Great Feminist Idea-Flash your boobs!

Hey, I’ve got a Great Feminist Idea-Save the boobs!

Hey, I’ve got a Great Feminist Idea-I’m free to talk about boobs!

Hey, I’ve got a Great Feminist Idea-Let me see your boobs!

The only progress I wanna make

is into your bed

Liberation from patriarchy matters

but why not liberate yourself from your fear of me?

Yeah, you’re only saying no

because you’re brainwashed by slut shaming.

If you were so feminist,

you’d fuck me, hard.

Those covered up women are oppressed

‘coz I can’t see their asses

I MEAN-

because other men other than me

are dictating their bodies.

They should be good like the feminist girls I love

upstanding and proud

and on their knees

begging me to be freed from oppression.

We’re in an open relationship

so I can sexually harass other women

and my partner can’t say shit.

She’s bi,

so I get two bitches at my disposal at times!

What!? You’re shaming me!

What!? You’re restricting my identity

What!? You won’t get any allies if you act like that.

What!? You’re too extreme.

What!? You’re just a fucking prude bitch.

Sex is all natural and healthy and good

So fuck you, I’m a Feminist Man, now Fuck Me.

Writer. Community organizer. Errant punk. Ne’er do well. Afro-Dominicana. High Hex Femme. Email: Dominicanamalisima@gmail.com

Writer. Community organizer. Errant punk. Ne’er do well. Afro-Dominicana. High Hex Femme. Email: Dominicanamalisima@gmail.com